When In Doubt

Introduction:

Welcome my friend,

Today our series on ‘getting started with the new year’ continues with this discussion on how doubts can impact us as individuals.

Truth is, no matter who we are or what we do, that feeling of “what if” is something that casually creeps in as we question ourselves as to whether everything will come out good.

Yet, when we think of it deeply, we can agree that it's a normal feeling that acknowledges the uncertainty that comes with life.

Here, we're merely concerned or thoroughly involved in the situation, without letting these concerns become more prevalent than is normal such that it becomes an unhealthy fear of failure.

Therefore, in the subsequent lines, we'd be looking to understand why this is so and how we can handle ourselves better in such situations.

Discussion:

Fear and doubt are two sides of the same coin because fear erodes our self confidence causing us to lean towards our inabilities and limitations, rather than our strengths.

When this happens, doubts set in, as we gradually begin to accept that maybe we're truly not good enough.

Consequently, if we let ourselves dwell in this thought for too long we'd begin to act like it until we're right.

As in a self fulfilling prophecy of incompetence.

This shouldn't be so, which is why we'd be looking to take the following practical steps whenever we're in doubt;

■ Acknowledge Our Fears

It'll be deceitful to claim that we don't have any fears even when our situation or plans seem to guarantee a smoother sailing, let alone when it suggests otherwise.

To accept our fear is the first step to confronting it because it guides us towards the path of recognizing the source of it.

For instance, we can accept that we're inadequately equipped to achieve a goal within a specific time because we need to get better ourselves.

This is a valid and positive fear.

It isn't the same thing as holding ourselves back; because here, rather than shy away, we get started, showing up consistently and learning on the job in that process.

Other times, our fears can come from a sincere acknowledgement that our efforts don't match our expected outcome and in which case we need to ask more of ourselves.

To be willing to take more responsibilities as a way of reaching our goals, or even making necessary sacrifices as a way of maximizing the resources available to us.

Learning how to be intentional with our time, energy, money or other such resources.

Also, when our fears come from a place of accountability, because we've acknowledged how our behavior is jeopardizing our efforts and delaying our progress we can't just ignore it.

Ideally, when our fears and doubts inspire us to take more control of our situation, we've used them to push ourselves to the limits.

■ Recognize The Source Of It

From what we've discussed so far we've pointed out that our fears and doubts can come from a place of unpreparedness.

However, there are other sources.

Some of our fears and reluctance to try comes from our unwillingness to face the world around us and their criticism, yet we still get criticized for doing nothing.

Most of us have become really scared of living our own lives because we're so bothered by the opinion of others that we live for their validation and approval.

This is unhealthy.

Truth is, most people have ridiculously high standards when judging others that they're harsh with their assessment of them.

Yet, when they're in the same shoes as them, they become understanding, accommodating their own flaws and shortcomings; even explaining them away.

Are these the people we should let put us under undue pressure?

The same way they show themselves grace, we must demand they do us, rejecting their biased opinions.

Also, our fears can come from acknowledging that we don't have the realistic means to go after our dreams based on our current circumstances.

Here, it's important to understand that while we may not readily have the means, we have the potential to achieve everything we set our minds to.

We just have to be patient as we build more connections and meet more folks better positioned to offer us the opportunities we need.

■ Work On Ourselves

The relationship between self confidence and self development is that readiness gives us the belief that we have what it takes.

As we improve our value, learning more and doing more our fears reduce because we've learned that they're not real.

Once we become used to pushing through and getting things done regardless of our doubts and fears we no longer allow them to hold us back.

Having learned that practice gives room for improvement as we continue to work on ourselves and get better at what we do.

Self confidence comes with self development because we now trust ourselves enough to not bet against ourselves even in the face of difficulties.

■ Remind Ourselves Of Past Successes

When in doubt we must remember how far we've come from where we started from.

This shows that we can go even farther.

When we're in a place in life that's less than what we envisaged for ourselves, we must remind ourselves that it's not our destination yet.

That way we're willing to do what it takes to keep moving.

When we think back at how we've come out of tougher situations we once thought would have consumed us, it gives us the courage to persevere.

After all, how we do one thing is how we do everything; and even if this particular situation is different to anything we've faced before, the same principles apply.

Which means that we never lose until we give up.

■ Reassess Our Motivation

As the fears creep in we can remind ourselves of why we started and why we need to get over the line of success.

On the part of our purpose, our mission transcends us because more people are impacted by our actions than just us.

We're blessed to be a blessing to others and when we don't avail ourselves to receive these blessings those that would have benefited from us also miss out.

Let's say, if a doctor working solely to earn a high paycheck wins a lottery or builds up an investment portfolio up to the point of financial freedom that they can afford to quit or retire early, their “would have been patients” miss out.

So while it's good to make money it's also important that we impact others and are useful to the world around us with the job that we do.

That way, we can continue to give it our best even when the pay is still because we understand the importance of showing up for others.

Until our diligence sets us apart and into earning what we deserve.

■ Lean On The Source Of Our Security

The ultimate confidence comes from the security and assurance that we'd succeed regardless of everything we see on the way.

This is only guaranteed when we trust God wholeheartedly.

The beauty of God's will is that it takes away uncertainty since we know that we can't fail when He's with us; and we have to learn this practically, not just by some preacher's words.

Which means that we're going to be sure to go through different series of difficulties at various stages of our lives, just enough to build our faith and develop our character without breaking us.

After all, what better way to show us that He's capable than saving us from situations that we can't help ourselves?

Fear and doubts vanish when we recognize that the one that walks on water will anchor us to the shore successfully when the storms of life become overwhelming for us.

Until then, we can see these fears and doubts as an indication that we've not yet completely trusted Him.

Summary:

We can't ignore our feelings because they're usually based off our current circumstances but faith means that we understand that they're not the determinant factor for us as believers.

God's plan for us usually seems so distant from our reality but that is what the process is about, as He gradually refines us, making us ready for His good use.

Finally, when we're afraid or doubt how we can achieve something worthwhile or come out of a precarious situation, we're reminded that God has a solution for us.

These solutions will be different at various points in our lives which is why we perpetually need Him not just when we're confused.

Master Apprentice.

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