About Turn: Examining The Obstacles To Starting Afresh

Introduction:

Welcome my friend,

It's already eight (8) months into the year, yet it feels like it was just yesterday that we had those fireworks to light up the New Year.

As its flames burned, so did our hearts.

Burning of optimism and hope for everything we set out to achieve this year.

…and when its sounds blasted our ears, it sounded like war, giving us this feeling of excitement to go all in and attack the year, looking to claim our imminent victories.

Then all of a sudden, like many other years before it, month by month, all those expectations began to lower or even fizzle out, as the reality of our circumstances set in.

From the death of a loved one, bad relationship break ups, huge financial losses, academic failure, loss of our livelihood and other such situations that hurt us deeply, we've found ourselves having to endure things we never really thought we would.

If you're this person, I understand that there's this temptation to mentally switch off from the year having burned out from everything that has come with it.

Truly, this is a normal feeling and you're not alone; but it's time to pick up the broken pieces and go again.

There's a lot more we may yet do.

After all, from where we're seated, there's still about five (5) months left in the year.

So let's get up and approach it with the same enthusiasm that we once did, trusting that there's still so much more in the hat for us and hopefully it's everything that heals our heart.

It's good to be back here with you my friend.

Discussion:

How many of us would just decide to go somewhere else simply because we missed our path rather than head back to our original destination?

Let's say you were going to your sister's wedding but missed your way to the place, so you just call her like;

“Hello! I think we drove past the venue of your wedding but luckily there's another one going on. I'd just join their feast and head back home afterwards.

I'm so sorry it happened”

Most likely we wouldn't behave this way because a marriage ceremony is a significant event such that responding in that manner would count for us as a mere excuse.

One may even rightly argue that we never really wanted to be there in the first place.

■ Realizing That We Missed Our Path

As humans, we may not always make the right choices in life and when this happens, it can drastically alter the course of our lives, going in an entirely different direction.

From choosing the wrong spouse to taking a career path that isn't aligned with our strengths.

From moving to a particular city with known vices to joining certain friendship groups, some of our choices can have lifelong damaging impacts.

To be honest, when we put things into perspective, this can be likened to missing our way.

Yet, unlike in mere traveling where we can readily reverse back to our main destination, missing our way in life can be much more challenging.

■ Why We May Not Want To Start Afresh

In life even after realizing that we missed our way, we can still remain defiant to make a change and that's quite understandable.

Especially when we put into consideration the following factors:

▪︎ The Resources We Already Put In

“Never give up” is a slogan that we cheer on but at what point does being patient turn to wasting time?

It's difficult to quit a relationship when we consider some of the resources we've committed to it, because we hoped together would compound overtime to forever.

Some people who have made huge financial commitments on others with the intention of being together as in marriage or make money together as in talent management can oftentimes be in an unhealthy relationship because walking away feels like “counting their loses”

▪︎ Some Bonds We Share

Sometimes when people have children together, it becomes difficult for them to pathways.

Some of us who grew up in broken homes may want something different for our kids and because of that we remain in an unhappy and abusive home for their sake.

Yet severally we've seen that this may not be the best decision as some have eventually died by the hands of the said abuser.

Also, when people have been through some things together, let's say a dark moment, they can become overly sentimental in their dealings with each other.

Choosing to continue to stay together for old times sake when they can barely stand each other now.

▪︎ The Time We've Spent

One of the most difficult things for an employee to endure is being stuck in the same position without any career progression within the establishment year in, year out.

Some of us feel this and want to walk away but just can't, because we've given our years to the company in diligent service.

So we just convince ourselves that something is going to change even when it continues the same.

When time have passed, it makes us prefer to remain in something familiar and comfortable rather than embracing the uncertainty of going out there to test ourselves by trying out something new.

▪︎ The Opinion Of Our Loved Ones

Many times loved ones will encourage us to continue on the wrong path because they lack the discernment to advise us rightly.

Those closest to us can sometimes out of love persuade us to remain in an uncomfortable situation because we failed to explain it properly to them.

Also, when we assume the role of advisers ourselves, we should be careful what we say to others so that we wouldn't by our words discourage them from their purpose.

▪︎ Pressure From Others Affected By Our Decisions

Those that have contributed to how far we've come in a particular journey may struggle to accept our decision to walk out half way.

This is understandable and we should try our best to explain our decisions to them plainly and with remorse yet firmly.

It's for such people that we owe it to ourselves to eventually get it right in our new venture after all success is all they ever wanted for us.

▪︎ Fear Of Failing Again

When we've tried and have been unsuccessful in a few things, we may begin to feel like failures.

This can play with our minds a bit.

Yet we'd know we're on track because we'd definitely be at peace with our decisions.

■ Why We May Have To Start Afresh

When something is important we do it anyway.

From our feature story, the reason we're not just going to continue feasting with strangers in another wedding is because we set out to honour our sister's big day and not just to eat and be merry.

On another day, we may yet continue heading somewhere else if our main destination and purpose isn't as significant as a marriage ceremony.

For example, deciding to shop in another store after missing our way to another.

Yet real life is serious business making everything we do much more consequential.

This is why it's crucial for us to get it right.

When we miss our path, what follows is struggle, unhappiness, regret, disappointment and so on; all of which are unpleasant and limiting feelings.

This is why we have to find the courage to start afresh.

When life begins to feel miserable from the choices we've made, then it may be time to make the obvious choice of going back to the drawing board and starting over again.

■ Benefits Of Starting Afresh

When we go through tough circumstances we may lose other things but we gain everything we learned from that experience.

Starting all over may mean going into a different venture, but we'd do so as better individuals with better strength of character than before; which in itself is an edge.

When we take the bold step of giving up our old life for a new one, we take up the opportunity to recreate ourselves over time.

Looking to finally realize all our potentials and becoming the masterpieces God created us to be.

When we start again from nothing, we learn humility and empathy realizing that our successes are from God not because we're special and others are not good enough.

This is what teaches us to be more patient and supportive of those around us because we can now relate to their struggles, rather than remain oblivious of reality from our high horse of privileges.

Most importantly, starting afresh allows us to live with more focus having realized that we no longer have time to waste.

Summary:

Nobody likes to start all over again but sometimes stepping back may be the only way to move forward.

When we feel troubled and uncomfortable in our surroundings, maybe it's time for a change.

Truth is, regardless of how deep we are in the wrong or how much we convince ourselves to keep going, the heart always knows what it wants.

…and if now all it craves for is new beginnings, then maybe it's time to pay attention my friend.

Master Apprentice.

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