Temperance: The Ability to Stay in Charge

Introduction:

Welcome my friend,

You know, certain devices often come with a controller, enabling the user to direct their functions effortlessly with a single button press.

This shows that the device exists not for itself, but to fulfill the user's desires, carrying out specific commands.

Likewise, when we react impulsively to situations instead of thoughtfully choosing our response, we mirror this dynamic, letting the trigger dictate our actions.

Here, by giving in to these impulses, we hand over our power, acting in ways that may not reflect our true selves.

This is the basis of our conversation today.

Discussion:

As human beings, we often have this urge to be intense, to respond in ways that make us seem strong and satisfy our sense of pride.

To demonstrate that we're not easily dominated and can defend ourselves.

Naturally, this isn't inherently negative, since we have an obligation to safeguard our own well being.

However, most times after making these choices, we come to regret them, because in our effort to take action, we end up overdoing it.

This is where temperance plays a key role, enabling us to exercise self control in our reactions having acknowledged the price of our excesses.

Thus, temperance essentially involves our capacity to be:

▪︎ Slow To Anger

Anger leads to poor judgment because we react from a position of hurt, aiming to express our frustrations through forceful behaviors.

This often results in regret.

In the heat of the moment, we relinquish our self control to our pride, focusing solely on asserting our viewpoint.

Yet, how frequently has this turned out to be unproductive?

Someone who is prone to quick anger is their own enemy, readily exploited by those seeking to provoke them into disastrous responses.

This makes it a weakness.

For example, in social environments where others recognize our contentious nature, they can effortlessly incite an outburst to discredit us publicly and portray us as unfit for key roles, despite our qualifications.

Furthermore, a quick temper damages the quality of our connections, as we utter wounding remarks impulsively, even if unintended; but once spoken, words cannot be retracted.

On the other hand, being slow to anger means maintaining command over ourselves, carefully considering the outcomes of our actions prior to proceeding.

Ultimately, anger embarrasses us, because we are typically the first to recognize our loss of composure.

Which is not an ideal state to find oneself in.

▪︎ Slow To Speak

No one ever got into trouble for being an attentive listener; so listen more and talk less.

When we rush to speak, we end up revealing too much, including statements that could be turned against us.

So it's crucial to carefully consider our words, identifying what is appropriate for us to disclose and what isn't.

Often, due to our tendency to speak hastily, we go on divulging others' stories to people they wouldn't want involved.

Which represents a violation of trust, the kind that can damage relationships

Similarly, when we're constantly chattering, we only convey our own knowledge without allowing space for the other individual, thereby missing out on insights from their viewpoint.

This is a disadvantage in its own right.

Moreso, too much talk makes us lose value for our own words, casually uttering things we don't intend and making promises we can't fulfill.

This, in turn, causes others to devalue our words initially and ultimately our person.

▪︎ Slow to Judge

If we're quick to judge, then we'd be quick to anger, often revealing a lack of understanding and patience.

When we're slow to judge, we'd always be open to first hearing the other person out, as they explain their inability to meet our expectations.

This may be all that's required to prevent any disagreement that could escalate even further when blown out of proportion.

Indeed, it's wise to extend grace to others by showing tolerance, because we understand that everyone is different, has different backgrounds, and different capabilities.

Our ability to grasp this reality is therefore a huge advantage that can improve the quality and depth of our interactions.

To be slow to judge, is to be slow to react, choosing to acknowledge the other person's own triggers, instead of allowing their actions to trigger us.

■ Additional Advantages of Staying In Charge 

Many people use offensive behavior to mask their incompetence and dishonesty, diverting attention from their shortcomings by provoking anger in you and positioning themselves as victims.

Stay sharp and don’t take the bait.

When you refuse to react, they’re compelled to confront the truth they’re trying to avoid, exposing their tactics.

This resilience makes us harder to manipulate, as we stay composed and calm enough to see through their deceptive ploys.

Most importantly, by refusing to take offense, we preserve our energy, choosing not to engage in conflicts that offer little to no meaningful payoffs.

■ Working On Our Temperance 

To accept that “this is just who I am” despite recognizing how our flaws harm us is not only unwise but also underestimates our capacity to improve our lives.

We have the power to break bad habits by adopting new, positive ones we’ve learned.

This transformation won’t happen quickly and may take years, depending on the depth of our behaviors, but the first step is embracing the desire to change.

From there, it’s about valuing our progress and letting it motivate us to keep going.

Here, it really helps to remember the cost of our past lack of self control whenever we’re tempted to act in ways that will lead to further losses.

After all, if an action’s consequences are so severe that they outweigh any fleeting satisfaction or relief, then it’s simply not worth pursuing.

■ Temperance - A Divine Virtue 

If there's anyone that we should give up control of our lives to, then it's God, our maker and perfect controller.

Exercising restraint isn’t simple when we’re unsure how, but God’s spirit instills humility and patience in us, enabling us to pause and reflect.

In reality, making wise choices requires wisdom and discernment, both of which flow through us when God’s light shines within.

Yet, all this hinges on first believing in Him, which opens the door to enjoying a relationship with Him.

This isn’t a fairy tale, it’s real, practical, and you too can find out.

God is ready, waiting for us.

All we have to do is believe, this is the first and most important step.

Summary:

Temperance is a virtue of discipline and strength, ensuring we remain unshaken by external influences.

Indeed, anything that triggers us controls us but that is a choice.

Master Apprentice.

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