Solitude: The Comfort Of Aloneness

Introduction: 

Welcome my friend, 

It's very likely that you've tried to put a phone call across to someone who happened to be in a noisy environment at the time.

So there's you trying to get your message across and there's all that background noise on the other end and someone screaming their lungs out to say; 

“I can't hear yyouuu! ..ca..ll back..la” 

Call ends. 

This is what noise does, as it's difficult to hear one thing clearly when there are much louder sounds in the background. 

Quite obviously it's not the same when they're at home in a quiet environment where they're in charge of regulating the decibels of sound around them. 

The conversation will be free flowing and clear because both parties can send and receive the message passed.

Now, moving away from all that noise talk and before we get into our conversation of the day, I'd like to ask;

“How are you my friend?”

Well, since you're fine enough to be here, you're not doing badly. 

Discussion:

Solitude and soliloquy are two words that point us back to “solo” all of which have to do with one (1) person. 

So when we're alone away from everyone else that's basically what solitude is about as soliloquy refers to actively speaking to ourselves while at it. 

This is a very healthy practice that allows us the time out from a constantly busy, noisy and overwhelming world with so many things competing for our time and attention.

When we take this step back, we give ourselves room to be intentional about what we focus on, making better choices by listening to our own voice. 

This consequently makes the significance of what we say to ourselves amplified, so let's be wise enough to keep it kind, true and positive at all times.

■ Why We May Not Want To Be Alone 

As we already know, it's not everyone that may want to be alone for different valid reasons.

However, solitude can be likened to receiving the phone call in a noisy environment and temporarily stepping away from there to respond to it immediately because of its importance rather than saying we'd call back. 

When we understand it this way, we no longer see it as a suggestion to rob us of companionship but a quick call to step back from it to respond to other responsibilities. 

This makes it a deliberate action where we 

actively create alone time to pray, meditate, plan, read or learn something new rather than do nothing and eventually begin to feel bored, abandoned or lonely. 

For some others, the barrier to solitude is being too busy, as we're scheduled out from when we wake in the morning until bedtime. 

This isn't right. 

A mother may say there's work, family, church and maybe other social groups to attend to, so no time really. 

For a father, it can be doing other part time jobs to cater for the family needs so that he's so tired and knocked out at the end of the day. 

Again, no time really. 

Even for a student, there may be an overwhelming academic workload along with the responsibilities of other extracurricular activities or trying to make little cash by the side.

Truth is, we'll always be busy as long as we're not committed to carving out time to be alone. 

When we give it some deep thought, we'd realize that the reason we had time for work, family and every other thing was because they were important to us. 

So maybe what is really missing is that solitude isn't our priority.

■ Making The Most Of Our Solitude 

The most important benefit of solitude is that it affords us the calmness and clarity of mind to connect to the divine so that we can hear two voices, God's voice and ours. 

It's good to think before we act but when we're always acting, we no longer give ourselves the chance to think until we get into trouble. 

This is sad because it'll always end in regrets. 

Another truth is that we've created our current realities mainly by the actions and decisions we've made, which means that to get better, we have to do and act better. 

This is the whole essence of discernment. 

When we disconnect from the world to talk to and listen to God through prayer, he gives us the ability to make the right decisions having revealed his will to us in that quietness. 

This will see us make significant progress with our lives engaging only in activities that he would bless, rather than wasting our time acting and asking outside his will. 

■ Other Benefits Of Solitude 

When we're alone we can be able to do more without distractions having no one to gist with, attend to or cater for. 

This can be a good time for focused self development. 

We have a responsibility to ourselves to improve our value daily if we're to keep up with the challenges of life, having realized that to overcome new ones we must become new ourselves. 

This is what makes learning very important.

As we improve ourselves, we become better equipped to go about our businesses with confidence operating from a place of capability and enlightenment rather than incompetence and self doubt. 

Another benefit of solitude comes to mind when we think of “bad company corrupts good morals”. 

It's better to be alone than hang out with people that inspire us to behave in ways that are detrimental to our growth. 

Solitude provides some kind of separation so that we can protect ourselves from friends that remind us of bad habits that we're actively working on getting rid of.

This also shields us from the harmful consequences of these habits since we no longer engage in them. 

Summary:

If we can't find up to an hour in the whole of twenty-four (24) in a day to be alone it means we've put ourselves in an unhealthy rat race. 

Success requires rest too because we need to give the mind the enablement to function optimally.

This is what solitude does for us as we disconnect from all the poor opinions and dysfunctionality being forced on us by a decaying and morally bankrupt society. 

When we're always chasing we miss out on the beauty of appreciating what we already have and the satisfaction of smelling the roses on our journey. 

Most importantly, it's better to be alone and be crazy enough to keep going after our dreams than be with those who discourage or talk us out of them. 

When we step back to plan we rejoin the world with the right attitude to step even further forward. 

Master Apprentice.

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