Separation: The Price Of Transformation

Introduction:

Welcome my friend,

If you're quite adventurous, I'm sure you'd rather move closer to the water by the beachside, stretching one foot into it, as if to test how it could carry you away.

If you're not, then you'd rather just watch the waves from a distance paying heed to the fact that indeed it's blown away other folks before you.

What about if you're the kind of person on a doctor's advice to adapt a rigid diet, but stock up your best edibles in the fridge alongside it?

Sure, you may control yourself from eating them sometimes, but this doesn't offer the same guarantees as completely putting them away.

After all, one can't feed on what isn't available in the first place.

While both of these scenarios are completely different, the common element in them is that it's easier to protect ourselves from certain things by completely steering clear of them; rather than coming closer, since proximity makes temptation more intense.

This is the principle of ‘Separation’, which is what our conversation today will be centered on.

It's good to be back here to chill with you buddy, how are you doing?

Discussion:

Separation is an intentional stepping back from everything else we'd rather do, to focus on a particular goal.

In other words, it's a deliberate decision to pull away from things that distract us, and stand in the way of our vision and dreams.

It's for this reason that it's impossible for us to successfully do so, unless we can identify these things in our lives, so that we can detach ourselves from them.

Typically these will include;

▪︎ Unhealthy Relationships

“Twenty (20) birds may not fly together for twenty (20) years.”

We have to accept this reality when a relationship has run its course and no longer brings us peace or has become detrimental to our purpose.

Sometimes growth may require us to evolve into a different person from the person that established certain bonds, having dropped most of the habits and lifestyles that formed the basis for such bonds.

When this happens, relationships can become unhealthy having become full of misunderstandings, so that separation becomes it's only natural progression.

▪︎ Bad Habits

If we don't separate ourselves from poor behaviours like laziness, procrastination, inconsistency and so on, they'll eventually separate us from our goals and the kind of life that we desire.

If we don't drop those lifestyles that we know erode our finances, affect our body, or trouble our mind, we'd end up sad, unhealthy or unhappy.

Some of us, for instance, got addicted to certain substances as coping mechanisms during a period they provided us the comfort to deal with some of our troubles; but they've now metamorphosed into a different problem for us as we continue to struggle to quit.

▪︎ Poor Ideals And Limiting Beliefs 

If a wrong idea withstands the test of time to be passed from one generation to another, it becomes accepted as truth - simply because no one dared to ask questions.

This is also the same with those of us with limiting beliefs.

Some of us still struggle to accept or access financial opportunities for investment and growth because of our limiting beliefs about money; as we readily dismiss good openings as fraudulent without any research, study or due diligence.

This also shows up when we earn enough money but have issues spending it to improve the quality of our lives because we're afraid “we'd go broke” and return to square one.

This shouldn't be so.

The fear of poverty can become a core part of someone born into lack and hunger but we must back ourselves to have broken free.

Having learned how to grow our finances by creating value and exchanging this value for money.

This makes us “the bag” and portfolio and self development our path to wealth creation.

When we have a lower quality of life than our income can comfortably handle because we're piling up funds in our bank accounts for “future use” we've missed the point.

▪︎ Our Past

If we don't let go of an unpleasant past, it can rob us of a better future as we continue to waste today dwelling on regrets, rather than taking necessary actions towards the direction of our dreams.

The negative impacts of a dark past may yet leave lasting impacts on us but it doesn't define us because we still have the opportunity to end well.

So live freely as if to embrace this second chance at life, living everyday to prepare for a better end to our stay here, when the time comes.

Also, until we separate ourselves from the pain of past hurt, we'd never really be fully trusting of new folks to let them into our lives regardless of their sincerity.

■ Merits Of This Separation

When we step back, it's because doing so is a forward step in the direction of our goals.

We can agree to this since separation allows us to;

▪︎ Work On Our Discipline 

It's difficult to stay away from a bad habit when we're constantly exposing ourselves to situations that make us interact with it.

This is why those battling an addiction are taken to a rehab.

When we're working hard to break away from certain habits and lifestyles, we have to limit our access to the people that point us towards them.

This starves us of the satisfaction we derive by indulging in them; until we're able to regain our willpower over them.

For instance, a person struggling with masturbation or porn is already backtracking by using an erotic wallpaper or screensaver.

You can't occupy the subconscious with something you want to do away with consciously.

▪︎ Be Focused 

Separation allows us to be focused as we replace irrelevant and time consuming activities with productive actions.

When we have wise friends that build us up by the quality of our conversations with them, even social times become meaningful and satisfying.

There's no rulebook that says fun should be immoral, vulgar or empty so we can separate ourselves from those and still be goofy and fun to be with.

▪︎ Be Productive 

When we spend our time wisely we do more with our lives causing us to grow and expand.

We have to assess our goals on the basis of what it takes to achieve them, so that we can be able to put in commensurate efforts to do so over time.

When our input does not match our expectations we're only daydreaming.

So separation allows us to lock in, doing more.

▪︎ Protect Our Energy 

We all deserve that alone time to pray, plan, rest, relax, read and so on.

Separation allows us to protect our energy as we intentionally avoid people that are draining due to their negativity, combativeness, or all round demeanor and aura.

■ Why We Struggle To Detach Ourselves 

Most of us get bored being alone so when we try to separate ourselves from others we get lonely.

This is only proof that we're not doing anything meaningful with our time.

When we add value to our time, it begins to feel like it's barely enough.

Also, separation is neither isolation from others nor the deprivation of ourselves of the opportunities that can come from associating with them.

Rather than that, it's choosing to associate with those whose values and beliefs align with ours, as we continue to uplift each other.

Another challenge some face with separation is that they want to be in everyone's business, even as they let them into theirs too for some kind of ego boosting and validation.

This shouldn't be so.

Worse still, is when we remain with someone because they guilt trip and manipulate us into doing so, even when we can clearly see how toxic they are.

Summary:

As believers, separation doesn't relieve us of the responsibility of being present and of service to others but it does mean that we should be careful to relate with them in ways that they don't rub off on us negatively.

Separation doesn't mean we should lock ourselves up at home and do no job but it means that in our workplaces we've separated ourselves from the rest with the level of excellence and diligence that we show.

When we separate ourselves from the crowd we stand out as children of God.

Master Apprentice.

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