The Painful Side of Growth

Introduction:

Welcome my friend!

How quickly the days go by that we've arrived yet another Friday, to share this moment together in today's edition of this weekly newsletter.

Truly, as much as I would have loved for the time to slow down, I'd always cheer for anything that'll make us be here sooner; because every second spent with you is a pleasant one.

In this conversation, we'll be looking at growth in the light of the struggles we go through on our path to it or even as a result of it and if they're a worthy price.

Discussion:

One of the most basic concepts of growth is the transition of an infant from crawling to those first baby steps.

Here, although the process is characterized by the tears and pains of numerous falls from the different attempts to walk, the child is encouraged to push through because settling for the comfort of crawling is retrogressive.

Interestingly, this is probably the only time where a person is wholeheartedly supported through 'failure' and 'hurt' by everyone in their life; and for the obvious reason that this path to growth is an already established phenomenon.

Each person cheering on the infant does so because they know it has the ability to walk and eventually will.

The significance of this is that it proves that many times when people discourage us from our dreams it's because they don't see our potential to achieve it.

Other takeaways will include:

▪︎growth always comes with its difficulties

▪︎we have the potentials to improve

▪︎the reward for the struggle is a better reality

The aforementioned points make us understand that just like in biological development, growth in every step of life's journey will always come with its own demands.

To meet them then will mean living with the right attitude that acknowledges these challenges as just necessary features of our growth.

■ Difficulties Associated with our Growth

As we evolve in mindset, character and goals, we observe that we sometimes feel unsettled by the various changes in our life that have now left us in unfamiliar surroundings.

This is where many of us try to shrink back into our comfort zone and into mediocrity because we feel threatened by the challenges of our new level. Some of the very common of these challenges include:

▪︎Loneliness:

One of the most painful challenges of growth is the loneliness that comes with it. When we disalign ourselves from values, lifestyle and relationships that are now detrimental to this version of us we're left alone and will sometimes feel lonely.

When this happens, we must accept it as the price for the peace of mind we now enjoy as a result of being left alone to do only things that resonate with our soul.

▪︎Losses:

How many times have we seen people feel bad for, or even reject a job promotion and pay rise because it means they have to move on from their city, family, friends and all the dreams they have built around it.

Here we see a person grieving in their next level as they ironically mourn the losses of their past level.

▪︎New Problems:

A lot of times being faced with new and more complex obstacles indicate that we've leveled up.

For instance, as we move from one grade to a higher one in academics, we may notice tougher examinations yet at the same time they represent sufficient tests to our new knowledge.

What this means is that when faced with a problem we can't solve we've been challenged to get better.

▪︎Comparison:

When we look to assess how the journey of another seems better than ours, we take away the joy of our own accomplishments and the confidence that comes with it.

We should always remind ourselves that our growth is peculiar to us and not being where we want to be doesn't mean we're not growing well enough.

▪︎Nostalgia:

Leaving our comfort zone makes us feel homesick. We miss being the go-to person, we miss the warmth of loved ones.

We reminisce about the times when our actions didn't have so many consequences and when we had all the time in the world to make mistakes.

Here, we have to honestly accept that those days are in the past now as we relish the responsibilities of the present day.

■ Why we resist Growth

The number one resistance to our growth is our own mindset. We have this wrong notion that growth is an upward trajectory of one level of pleasure to the next yet this is far from the truth.

Growth is a struggle to earn the next level. In seeing these challenges as mere tests to the strength of our character we allow ourselves room for growth from learning and experience.

We usually resist growth because we're not ready to face the other side of it.

Summary:

Life is a struggle regardless of our acceptance or reluctance to intentionally take steps in the direction of our growth.

While struggles of growth are rewarded by unlocking new and beautiful levels of success and accomplishments, there's no upside to a mediocre life; which is what we choose everytime we let the fears of the other side of growth hold us back from shooting for the beautiful side of it.

Master Apprentice

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