Reputation: The Identity Of Character

Introduction: 

Welcome my friend! 

I've always had this wish that one day you can share your thoughts with me as we see things from your own lens, sharing your words and appreciating the quality of your mind. 

I know it'll be worthwhile because only like minds can establish the bond we've formed from mere words having not met each other, yet connected by the values we share; which have allowed us to understand ourselves one discussion after another. 

For being a good friend, I hope life treats you kindly. May your days be filled with laughter and may your heart always be at ease. 

In today's conversation we'll be looking to understand how our behaviour gives us the identity we carry around and its impacts on our daily life. 

Discussion:

Our names give us an identity such that when it's mentioned, everyone can tell the subject person. 

Just like our names, our reputation gives us an identity such that others have certain opinions of us and associate us with certain character traits, due to our established patterns of behaviour overtime. 

While some for the sake of acceptance, favour or even dominance have found a way to manipulate this by pretense or con, the facade eventually wears thin overtime when burnouts occur from all that acting. 

For us though, it's not about creating a perfect image of ourselves in the minds of others but an authentic one that aligns with our values, ideals and personality. 

One that we can easily live out because it's who we are, rather than one to deceive others. 

■ A True Identity 

When character is misjudged a bad person can have a good reputation. 

Many times those with a gun on one hand taking forcefully from others have money on the other hand playing outstanding philanthropic roles in the society. 

The abusive parent who is a terror to their spouse and kids at home but is out there as the face of their organization, picking up all the awards of excellence for being kind, empathetic and supportive of others. 

When our reputation isn't consistent with our character we show ourselves to lack integrity and peace of mind, living on the edge, and fearing to be found out.  

Other times, a good person can have a bad reputation because others have made up wrong narratives about them without giving them the chance to correct such impressions. 

People are normally wired to "judge a book by its cover" because they're not ready to read it anyway, so they just go with whatever anyone that "claims" to have read it says. 

This is what we do when we judge others from a distance based on their appearance, other outward expressions or other people's opinion of them. 

A true identity is established when our character is consistent with our actions, which means that around or away from the eyes of others we're the same person. 

■ Benefits Of A True Identity 

When we take away the burden of pretense and "keeping up" from our lives we reap the following rewards: 

▪︎ Freedom 

A deceptive life requires proper planning of every move in order to be on track. 

The mental task of having to remember each lie and knitting the next one perfectly without it coming off as "a little embarrassing".

When we have nothing to hide, we are able to express ourselves freely, being able to take a stand on an opinion rather than being on the fence because we don't want to offend those we secretly pander to when the lights are out. 

▪︎ Longevity 

Truth will stand firm long after the deceit has been exposed by time and more information. 

The friends who encourage us to keep on with our vices will not be there when the repercussions set in but we'll always run back to that one friend or family that warned us severally sometimes even too harshly; because they'll always be there. 

When the businesses and brands that we built to compromise quality for profits are shutting down, the ones that put their client's interest first would gain all the folks that are looking to switch. 

▪︎ Trust 

Once people know that we're reliable, they'll always come to us first.

A reputation of integrity and trustworthiness means that both God and man alike, are willing to entrust more in our care knowing that we can account for everything accordingly without lavishness. 

When people show such confidence in us we shouldn't betray them. 

We should live with the same loyalty as we did when we had nothing, when we have everything because it's for us a character not a means to an end. 

▪︎ Grace 

The understanding that we've merely acted out of character makes it easier for us to be pardoned anytime we go out of line. 

Those with a reputation of being on the wrong side of events will be judged harshly even when they've made an honest mistake. 

A good reputation comes to our aid when we've been falsely accused because those that have interacted with us can vouch for our outstanding character. 

Summary:

How people see us can impact their willingness to interact with us. 

Which is why we should do better than being disagreeable and combative all the time. 

Many of us have built up huge walls around ourselves such that people can't even come close enough to experience us; living them with made up versions of our identity. 

Most importantly, we should be bold enough to express ourselves without feeling ashamed, because we feel we don't measure up; bearing in mind that we're a work in progress. 

To shun hypocrisy, we must make sure that we're the same person we are to the outside world when we slam the door of our room. 

Master Apprentice.

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