Patience: Waiting Time Or Wasting Time

Introduction:

Welcome my friend!

We could have started off by going straight into today's conversation but that will not just be out of character, it'll also feel empty and incomplete. 

Truly, everytime I first inquire about your well being and exchange these pleasantries before discussing the day's topic, what I'm saying is that I really do care about you and want you to feel it. 

As you know, through each word, we've formed this bond that now compels us to show up every Friday for another edition of this weekly newsletter; enjoying our time together, and becoming better for it. 

By way of continuing in that today, we'll be focused on understanding patience as an act of meaningful waiting and not merely a passage of time. 

Discussion:

We can agree that one of the biggest dilemmas we can face is that of making the choice between “giving it another shot” and “closing one door, to let open another”. 

This is simply because they both impact our time, an irredeemable resource; such that we're faced with the decision to either follow through (so already invested time isn't wasted) or walk away (to avail ourselves time for other things).

For instance, in our work, this can show up in our continued struggle to fit into a job we're not suited for, like a monkey trying to swim, just because we've done it for some years and may have even gained a few promotions on the way. 

So although we toil through it, we're scared of walking away and starting afresh somewhere else even when we have what it takes to excel better there.

This can also show up in our relationships. 

Let's say, being faced with the choice of walking away from abuse or hanging on to the hope that one day they can become that version of them we've created in our heads. 

Whatever it is, and in many different forms, we find ourselves stuck with the challenge of making the right decision for our future, aware of the consequences of the wrong one. 

■ Understanding What It Means To Wait 

When we wait, it's because there's an expectation for things to improve from what is currently obtainable. 

If all that time passes without achieving the goals we initially set out for, then we've only wasted our time. 

Therefore, to successfully discern which we're doing from the onset, we must know that waiting patiently means that our decisions have been guided by the following;

 ▪︎ An Awareness Of Purpose 

The mental clarity to define our waiting period as a part of, or a stage in the process is what makes the wait meaningful. 

For instance, If two sets of farmers are hanging out and one has their seeds planted and awaiting maturity when the other hasn't planted anything, one is being patient for harvest and the other is wasting time. 

Once simplified like this we can now make reference to other aspects of our lives. 

Using our relationships…

Truly, unless there's an agreement between two people in a relationship where they both have the same goals for it, remaining in it can be meeting one partner's need but is wasting the other's time. 

When one partner is thinking long term and the other isn't keen on that, then the former is being held back from finding a relationship that suits their needs, everyday they continue to be in that relationship. 

▪︎ A Divine Based Conviction 

As believers, if our expectation isn't rooted in the will of God then it lacks the guarantee and assurance of becoming a reality; and this lack of conviction will show in the quality of our actions.

When we're certain about what God wants for and from us we're able to replace logic with faith, going all in and holding out steadfastly because we know that we can trust him. 

When we show fear and half-heartedness in our approach, it's because we lack the self confidence, optimism and enthusiasm that comes from knowing that with God “all things work together for our good”.

This is the foundation for all patience because it's the basis for which our success is assured. 

▪︎ A Clear Vision 

When we have our eyes set on our own journey, we'll not be moved by what some other person is doing. 

Here, we're able to focus solely on ourselves because we have a clear sight  of our destination and are convinced that we're on the right path to it. 

The mind is the tool for this and until we use it to create clear imaginations of what we want, we'll be unable to know how to adapt the knowledge and right attitudes that'll lead us there. 

▪︎ Our Behaviour While Waiting 

If our behaviour while waiting doesn't align with our goals and vision then we're only wasting our time. 

Going back to the planting instance, those that have planted seeds and are expecting harvest are required to behave in ways that match their expectation.

For them, waiting behaviours will include the added responsibilities of tendering to the plants and preparing a space for the harvest; things that those without crops do not have to do.

It's the same for us. 

We have to understand our goals and intentions and approach life with an attitude that suits our expectations. 

If we're committed to building a long term healthy relationship, we must understand that it'll be more demanding in dynamics than for those simply hanging out for a good time, and be willing to do the work. 

Even in business, building a product to make some quick profits isn't as demanding as gradually establishing a sustainable business that is expected to withstand the test of time.

As long as it's something worthwhile, we must bear in mind that it'll require us to stay committed while waiting as a show of how much we really want it.

Once we understand the relationship between effort, time and experience as it concerns success, then we can always wait  confidently knowing that things get better with time.

■ Why We May Be Wasting Time 

When there is no conviction, there is no peace of mind. 

This will be our first sign. 

Once we're wasting our time, we're going to be the first to know but many times we just convince ourselves otherwise; by suppressing the voice of reason with the voice of our own wishes and living a lie. 

We know when we're holding on to a failed relationship simply because of the dreams we have of it, even when our partner isn't showing any willingness to change their behaviour in a way that suggests this. 

We know when we're holding on to an unpleasant job simply because of the financial security it gives us presently when starting afresh somewhere else will pay off eventually.  

Whatever it is, once there's no peace in going into it, that's the simple pointer that it's not aligned for us.

Summary:

Since lost time can't be regained, it's only wise that we spend it with purpose. 

The rewards of patience are satisfying but time wasting is accompanied by regrets. 

When we're intentional with our actions, we live with discernment, using our time wisely by shunning unproductivity and embracing meaningful work.

When we assess our relationships on the basis of the value they add, we're able to leave meaningless ones behind. 

Most importantly, it takes divine wisdom to be decisive in giving up on things that no longer improve, inspire or interest us.

Which means that the assurance of our patience is deeply rooted in the humility and divine wisdom to absolutely trust and follow God's will for our lives.

This is the only way we start the beginning by relying on the one that knows the end from the beginning; God.

Master Apprentice.

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