The Courage to Quit

 Introduction:

Welcome my friend!

I just might have run out of nice ways to express my delight in sharing these moments together; which is why I've made the wish that a warm embrace comes your way today.

When it does, I hope it reminds you that you're special, loved and truly appreciated.

In today's discussion, we'd be looking to elaborate the rationale behind holding onto something even when it's no longer healthy, useful or has become detrimental.

In doing so, we'd be outlining the benefits of knowing "when to stand up and walk away" as a way to save us the cost of wasted time and efforts.

Discussion:

One time a friend pointed out to me in a conversation that her name and having to quit shouldn't be used in the same sentence.

It really stood out because it made me see the mindset that's built her a successful business and a largely good life.

The strength of willpower and motivation that comes with the belief that "I must, I can and I will" is what have helped the greats to push through until they made something outstanding out of their craft, business and life in general.

Such is the tremendous benefit of a "diehard attitude" towards reaching our goals.

Here, the challenge is in finding the courage to go harder in very tough circumstances and still stand firm.

However, like a coin, there's a flip side to this, where we've seen people hold on to abusive relationships, toxic work environments, mismatched career paths, or even poor habits and lifestyles that continue to cost them.

Alternately, the need here is the courage to quit, to let go, to give up because we've seen, felt and analyzed the accrued and potential cost of continuing to hold on.

■ Why We Find it Difficult to Quit

The basis of all our decision making around sticking to what we should quit on, is centered on the following factors:

▪︎ The Desire to See it Work

The willingness to realize our lofty dreams and meet our fantasies can keep us in an unhealthy space.

Many times during the courtship we see very obvious signs that we're not compatible with a person, yet we ignore these signs because "we make a really cute pair"

This eventually becomes a difficult marriage because it was built on the wrong foundation by two people who had no business being together in the first place.

▪︎ The Desire to Fix it

Our desire to see something work is what fuels the desire to fix it.

For instance, someone that's taken a wrong career path will rather continue to take more courses on that path in order to "get better" than quit on it to take a different route.

Here, we become victims of "counting on our ability to sort it out" as we continue to struggle in a life we're not suited for.

▪︎ The Need for Comfort

"The devil you know is better than the angel you don't" this is the summary of the human need for familiarity and security.

Here, even when we can see and have accepted that something, someone or an environment is no longer good for us, we still stay put for fear of not getting better elsewhere.

This is a limiting lifestyle as we can never really know what's on the other side until we're brave enough to cross over.

▪︎ Adhering the Opinions of Others

If we don't know who we are and what we want, the world will tell us. This is why we must have a clear identity of our values, principles, and ultimately our vision for ourselves.

From parents, loved ones and counsellors, we may get advice from people who despite their best intentions have their limitations in offering us the most suitable and beneficial counsel.

For this reason, we remain put to something others think is right for us even when our common sense and intuition says otherwise.

▪︎ The Desire for External Validation

The need for social acceptance and belongingness may see us opt to remain in the most prestigious job or with our trophy partner regardless of the struggles from these decisions.

Here, we make our choices based on the social benefits of class or status rather than the suitability to us.

▪︎ The Fear of Starting Afresh

The thought of having to start all over is the most common reason we'll hold onto the hope of an eventual fix or breakthrough.

Here, we may look to compare ourselves to our peers, hurting deeply on the thought of how further off the pace we would be if we took a different path altogether. This isn't always the case.

More often than not, starting afresh restores all the years we've lost in the struggles of forcing "what was never meant to be" yet the only way to find out is in actually doing so.

■ Where to Draw the Strength to Quit

It's not an easy decision to walk away from what we've dreamed of, hoped of, and worked for.

This is why we need the wisdom of God to inspire and encourage us to do so.

Here, in building our relationship with him, he endows us with certain qualities that allow us to stop fighting back his gift of transformation and restoration; as we gradually give up all that isn't good for us. These qualities are:

▪︎ Humility

It takes a humble heart to give up our own human desires for the purpose of total trust in God and in the beauty of his perfect will for us.

It's this trust that gives us the courage to let go of everything, in the pursuit of keeping his word, knowing fully that whatever he asks of us is for our own good.

▪︎ Discernment

It's only through wise counsel that we can know when something is no longer in our best interest and to move away from it. Such is the gift of a discerning spirit.

In this we can differentiate the things God will bless from the ones he won't, consciously getting involved in only the ones that align with his principles and commands.

▪︎ Obedient Mind

This is humility and discernment at work. Once we give up self will for God's will, we become willing to follow his lead as a way of staying in line with his purpose and to lay claims on the promises that come with it.

▪︎ Sacrificial Mind

It takes sacrifice and understanding to accept the loneliness that comes with giving up on friendships, lifestyles and the dreams we've built around them without going into grieving.

This is the most painful part of giving up our lifestyle to start living for God yet we're able to do so willingly because we've reached a point where all our desire is to obey God regardless of the price.

■ Benefits of Letting Go

Once we find the courage to take a new leaf, all aspects of our lives begin to change for the better such that we'd experience the following:

▪︎ Healing

We don't have to continue living in survival mode for the rest of our lives.

We should be proud of ourselves for finding the courage to adapt certain traits just to stay alive. However, it's time to move on, to drop the pain, to forgive ourselves and to reconcile with our inner child.

Once we start leading a healthy, reserved and disciplined life, our soul begins its healing process.

▪︎ Peace of Mind

The biggest reward of our healing is the peace that comes with it.

In living a decent life we're no longer worried about being caught up by the consequences of our actions.

▪︎ Compounding Returns

On the path of purpose, all our efforts, struggles, wins and every other thing in between compounds over time.

As we live through this new life, we pick up new valuable lessons in each step, even as they open us up to the next level of responsibilities as well as the corresponding blessings and rewards.

▪︎ Ease of Life

Life is really difficult which makes leaning on and trusting in God a life hack. When we recognize and admit our limitations, we invite God to take care of us.

This confidence makes life easy because even at the peak of our struggles we can stay calm knowing that he'll surely come through for us.

Summary:

There's no bigger regret than waking up one day and realizing that we've lived a life less than we could, because we rejected the change that would have had it all come together.

A detour is the right call at a dead end and doesn't mean we've lost sight of the destination.

It's fine to quit when it's no longer working; in order to make it work!

Master Apprentice

www.twitter.com/truekingmaker