Loyalty: The Search

Introduction:

Welcome my friend,

How have you been since the last time we were here?

It always feels good to be back and this isn't any different.

Hopefully, our conversation today makes such an impression on us, that we're convinced it was worth our attention.

Yet if it doesn't, at least we'd agree that it was the intention.

Now, let's get on with it.

Discussion:

Loyalty is the quality to be loyal to someone, an idea or institution.

Here, the loyal person is steadfast in their support for the other party, doing so committedly and without wavering.

It's for this reason that it's one of the most essential qualities we look out for in our friendships as we look to build bonds with people that wouldn't easily turn against us.

However, this also makes it a rare attribute because it's not everyone that has what it takes to stand on our side especially when there's an incentive to stand aside.

Which then leaves us with the question;

“Where do we find loyalty?”

This is the search.

■ Examining Common Motivations 

People are loyal for different reasons and the depth of loyalty a person exhibits depends so much on these different motivations.

Loyalty can be born out of love, duty or indebtedness.

These are very common motivations.

Love makes a person stand by another, and fight alongside them, readily giving them the benefit of the doubt even when everyone else thinks otherwise.

This is the kind of loyalty that makes us go through tough situations with another as a show of empathy and support even when we have no business partaking in such suffering.

In the same vein, people stand by others out of duty, especially if they're part of the same group or represent the same institution.

This is why we see folks openly defend or refuse to criticize obvious poor actions of their allies or partners because they want to protect the image and interest of the collective.

Then there's the loyalty of indebtedness where we feel some kind of moral obligation to stand with a person because of what they've done or continue to do for us.

This is usually the most ingenuine and performative, because the loyalty ends where and when those benefits are no longer there.

■ Examining Common Tests 

We can never really tell how loyal a person is until a situation arises that gives them the opportunity to prove it.

The top of such situations being when money is involved.

Even loved ones turn their backs on themselves when their love of money supersedes their love for one another; and the bigger the cash, the more tempting.

Next to this, is the test of burden and inconvenience.

Many times it's easy to stay loyal until it begins to cost us as we support someone else to carry their load.

This can be challenging at times.

Which then explains why some folks will rather keep quiet and watch an innocent person get accused or punished, than speak up and get dragged into it.

Yet, in such times, silence is indeed betrayal.

Lastly, there's the test of weakness, where a person's loyalty is tested by those things that appeal to them the most.

For instance, we've seen those situations where a person gets involved with their partner's close friend or family.

Here, lust was appealed to and because it's their weakness they failed; even if they're the type to stay solid in other things.

Which is why it's not advisable to test a person with their weakness, else, they fall for it and find a way to rationalize it.

If we can, we should not tempt those we love so that we don't lose them in that process.

■ Examining Rare Motivations 

The human mind is too selfish to be loyal because if we ever have to choose between us and another we're going to choose ourselves.

This is why loyalty is rare.

So we continue to search.

Truth is, most loyal people are not loyal to another person, they're loyal to their own principles.

They're loyal because it's their character.

These are the rare motivations.

When we see a person stand by another they used to love, long after they've fallen out, they're doing so because that's how they roll.

They have a principle that wouldn't let them look the other way and they're doing so to uphold that principle and not necessarily because they're loyal to the other person.

Here, the motivation for the loyalty is no longer external (the joy derived from what's gotten) but internal (the joy derived from what's given) as we willingly stay loyal without seeing it as a burden.

This is also the same reason a person won't betray another, even when they're threatened or rewarded to do so.

Here, it's not because they aren't capable, but because they don't think it's worth the price of living with a beaten conscience afterwards.

So they stand solid.

Consequently, this proves that loyalty is neither mutual nor earned, because a disloyal person can't successfully reciprocate loyalty even if they tried; since it's not in their nature to do so.

They can only be inspired or motivated to try for a while until a situation arises that satisfies all their conditions to rebel.

In other words, we don't find loyalty but instead get it as a benefit of finding loyal people and interacting with them.

This puts a whole new perspective to our search.

■ Loyalty, Truth And Justice 

When a friend confides in us that they've done something wrong that could have huge consequences, do we turn them in or stay in on it?

This is a dilemma.

One of the worst burdens of loyalty is to unintentionally become an accomplice because we fear the impact exposing the truth will have on a loved one.

Yet we're advised to let our conscience guide us, so that we make the decision that we know we can live with.

Truth is, many times the right thing to do and the most difficult thing to do are the same but we do it anyway.

When we encourage a person to take responsibility for their actions, we play our part in bringing justice for another.

In truth, this is easier said than done and if we're on the receiving end of this, we should also be ready to show understanding.

■ The Ultimate Foundation Of Our Loyalty

Loyalty to one thing can sometimes mean disloyalty to another.

This is why we need to be consistent in our values so that we don't lose our identity, becoming unreliable.

As children of God, the basis of our loyalty is to do His will.

When this is the standard, it becomes easier for us to reach a decision and for others to know what to expect of us.

Loyalty isn't blind and if it means that we're following another like sheeps to the slaughter then we've missed the point.

Nobody that loves us, leads us astray, so maybe this is a good way to measure if it's really worth it.

Summary

If loyalty is rare then it means that we're all being disloyal and need to do better.

What we want, we have to first give.

See you next week my friend.

Master Apprentice.

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