Love: The Responsibilities Of Commitment

Introduction:

Welcome my friend,

Thankfully we've arrived the last weekend of yet another month here together hanging out to share these words.

It's always a good conversation here with you and hopefully today isn't any different.

How are you doing really?

In truth, there's always a lot going on in the world and around us to keep us disturbed, yet each time it's how we respond to a situation that determines how we'd feel in that instant.

So putting that to practice, I employ you in this moment to put up a smile even if you have to force it a bit.

That way we can have this discussion in good cheer, which for sure is a better headspace to be in, than dwelling in the anxiousness of worries, which sadly, for all its intent and purposes does not improve any situation.

Happy Weekend buddy!

Cheers to a good one!

Discussion:

Love in itself is a feeling, an emotion of warmth and satisfaction towards something that we find pleasing and desirable.

So when we say we love someone and are drawn to them that is just one thing.

Now, how we express this love is the other one; and most times it's a key indicator of the depth of the said love.

Which means that while love is the feeling, it should trigger in us the urge to take certain actions that serve as the expression of this love.

Put in other words, how we treat someone we claim to love is how we show them whether we truly do or not, and not just what we say or think we feel.

■ Love As A Desire 

To want something that's considered pleasant is simple which is why it's easy for anyone to just wish.

However, to actually do what it takes to have it, is how we show how much we want it.

To be in a relationship with someone goes beyond possession, exclusivity or ownership but transcends into effort: the work that we put in to remain together.

It takes a mere spark to establish a bond but as people begin to relate closely cracks can begin to appear if values or interests are so much misaligned such that they can't be reconciled.

This is a normal situation.

In order to be together, we'd have to learn to relate in a way that's healthy for us to coexist and this requires intentionality from each person; yet it's something we're willing to do for the sake of this desire to be together.

Sincerely, this is usually a lot easier when both parties are committed to making it work and not just a one sided affair, which in itself can be a sign to step back to reassess where each person truly stands.

■ Love As A Responsibility 

We don't have to fall for the lie that “we don't owe anyone anything”.

We owe those around us simple courtesy as much as they do so to us for the sake of peaceful cohabitation and not compulsorily because we have a relationship.

However, for the ones closest to us especially our partner, friends and family we owe them certain responsibilities as a matter of duty.

For the purpose of our discussion, we'd identify a few of them so that even when we don't feel like it, we're reminded that we're compelled by our commitment to keep to them.

Truth is, when we're in a relationship with someone it means that we have a place in each other's lives and occupying this position should come with responsibilities that include:

▪︎ Communication 

The first responsibility of love is communication which is important for reaching an understanding.

Many relationships have been destroyed by assumptions because folks couldn't discuss issues that would have been otherwise sorted out by vocally communicating their displeasures.

Proper communication also includes the responsibility of letting in loved ones on our future plans especially if it'll have some consequences on them.

Where there's no open and honest there's disharmony which of course weakens bonds since folks can't understand why each person behaves the way that they do.

▪︎ Accountability 

It's always important to look inward to understand our role in an outcome rather than quickly push the blame on our partner.

To be accountable is to acknowledge our faults not merely for the sake of apologizing but for identifying aspects of us that we need to work on.

This improves future relations, since we now understand how to respond to certain situations better.

▪︎ Empathy 

The responsibilities of a loving relationship goes both ways and abandoning it for one partner is a lack of care.

Empathy allows us to extend to others the same grace that we'd expect from them rather than acting indifferent.

When we love a person we want to share in their burdens, identifying certain roles we can play to lighten them, long before they even ask.

▪︎ Respect 

Respect is a responsibility of love that means that we should treat loved ones with regard at all times.

How we treat a person shows the value we place on them and no one that genuinely loves another continues to put them down acting as if their opinions and feelings are not worth anything.

Respect allows us to nurture love because we approach each other properly relating with dignity and honour.

■ Why Love Is Worth The Commitment 

When we love someone we'd always feel happy to show up for them because what we love, we want to improve and preserve.

Love makes us better because we want to work on ourselves for the ones we love, having seen that the only way we can reciprocate the beautiful love they've given us, is to become better versions of ourselves.

This inspires us into healing, self development and ultimately fulfillment.

■ God's Commitment Of Love 

God demonstrated his love for us by taking the initiative to save us from our sins so that we can have a relationship with Him.

No love is greater than the kind of love that makes a person give their life for another and when we reject this love we pass up love in its purest form.

God's love sees Him take the responsibility of forgiving us of our sins, reconciling us with Him and transforming us into beautiful masterpieces ready to be used for His good works.

All we have to do is believe in Him.

■ How We Respond To God's Love 

God is ready to meet all our needs.

After all, he owns everything.

However, He wants to do this for us as His friends and His children, relating intimately with Him.

This way we're able to remain committed to our relationship with Him even when life's at its best instead of coming to Him only when we need help.

When we come to God only to meet our desires or save us from tough situations we miss out on the privilege of knowing Him by experiencing Him and understanding His will for our lives.

This sees us come to Him mostly asking Him of things He's unwilling to do because they're against His nature and then blaming Him for being ineffective and unresponsive.

This is on us.

To respond rightly to God's love is to show our faith in Him by obeying Him always and leaving on the consequences to Him.

By doing so, we show that we trust His infinite love to fulfill His best plans for our lives and we've surrendered it to Him to make it happen.

Summary:

Love is the feeling that makes us willing to establish a bond but it's never enough to keep it solid.

Strong healthy relationships aren't found, they're built intentionally through nurture, care, sacrifice and sometimes unharmful compromise.

Mature partners make for a healthy relationship because they're empathetic, understanding, forgiving and most of all intentionally willing to do the work it takes to make the love work; because love alone isn't enough.

The responsibility of love says "I promise to be together as long as it's the healthy choice for us"

…and when we build our relationships on this basis, each partner understands that they have a responsibility to remain a safe place for the other person if they value what they share and want it to continue.

Master Apprentice.

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