Friendship: Experiencing True Intimacy

Introduction:

Welcome my friend,

Of course, you know I call you that because I mean it.

Truly, I've enjoyed every bit of our time here, sharing these words one weekend after another.

Indeed, through this period, we've formed such a bond so that you're always here, willingly committing your time to be a part of these conversations.

A commitment that does make me feel closer to you, because it places on me the responsibility of looking out for you.

All of which are acts of love on both ends, so that we trust what we share.

Therefore today, just before this friendship themed conversation, I want to say that I appreciate you my friend.

Discussion:

The word ‘friendship’ here is used to describe the relationship we have with our friends.

In other words, it's a close relationship with another person that is more personal to us than what we share with everyone else.

That is, beyond cordial.

This closeness is what we call intimacy.

Which means that the depth of the closeness we share with a person is the same as the level of intimacy in that relationship.

So why is this important?

■ What Intimacy Is About

If we are going to understand why intimacy is important, we'd first have to understand what this closeness is really about.

Here, intimacy isn't limited to sex as in the relationship between partners but rather extends to other acts of closeness good friendships exhibit.

Which means that acts of intimacy will include;

▪︎ Honesty

The foundation of trust is built on truth so that there's consistency and reliability from the onset.

When we know a person's character we know what to expect of them sincerely.

This translates to transparency in actions, devoid of any form of pretense.

Indeed, nobody is perfect but through authenticity imperfect people can find attraction in the admiration of each other's imperfections.

Then proceed to make a perfect relationship out of it, even as they continue to support each other through flaws they're working on.

When a relationship is built on deceit, it eventually falls apart when time and circumstances expose true characters and we realize that we're not suited for each other.

▪︎ Communication 

Through constant communication we know the status of each other's life so that we can relate to and share in our prevailing circumstances.

This is how we are able to show emotional support or encouragement to each other when we need it.

Communication means that we are present in each other's lives and can feel a compelling push to show up for each other.

In the absence of that, there's a disconnect that weakens bonds until people no longer care because they don't know enough about each other to feel much.

Also, through communication we strengthen our bond, understanding each other's perspective from how we explained our dissatisfactions and using that to relate better in the future

▪︎ Communion 

While some of our communication can be done from many miles apart, communion here is done physically; sharing the same space and having the same experiences.

When we go through our most memorable moments together, whether our highs or our lowest lows, we establish a bond that is based on teamwork and perseverance.

Here, we celebrate the same victories and confront the same challenges, because we share similar goals and vision.

This is a special kind of intimacy and is very common in friends who run a partnership business.

▪︎ Silence 

To understand each other's silence is a special kind of intimacy shared by friends who don't use the silent treatment to communicate their displeasures.

Friends enjoy intimate silence when they understand that solitude is a healthy practice that allows the individual to excel for the growth of the collective.

When we can hear each other in silence it means that our hearts have learned to communicate.

■ Why Intimacy Is Important

Everyone needs someone to lean on, someone that understands us that we can talk to, or seek advice from.

Other times we need someone to listen to us, someone that really hears us because they care for us deeply for who we are and not what we can do, be or give.

A genuine kind of love that satisfies the human need for longing and affection.

This is the love that makes us feel supported through life, drawing strength from those closest to us and being the same for them when they need it.

Truth is, even our best days are better when we have someone by our side to celebrate with and share in our joy, because they feel what it means to us.

Those that won't belittle our seemingly little accomplishments because they know our journey.

This can be all the encouragement we need to motivate us to believe in the process.

When we enjoy genuine love from others we find love in the world.

■ Why We Can't Be Intimate With Everyone 

It's not everyone of us that has experienced true intimacy because we haven't given it a chance or haven't found anyone that inspires us to open up.

This doesn't mean there's anything wrong with us.

Vulnerability comes naturally when we find ourselves in an environment that makes us feel safe because we know that our truth wouldn't be used to ridicule, shame or judge us.

A place where we feel the genuine love and support of those around us because they respect our boundaries, opinions and beliefs; as we coexist and thrive in our individuality.

This is what intimacy is about.

We don't tiptoe around people we're intimate with because we've seen each other at both our best and worst; so it's not something we can experience with everyone.

This is completely normal.

The seed of intimacy is sown with love and nurtured with transparency, patience and sometimes compromise as we bend our will for the ones we care about the most.

This isn't something we can do with and for everyone which is why it's reserved to just one (1) or (3) of the people we're closest to and can have a healthy and peaceful relationship with.

Summary:

The most beautiful relationship we can enjoy isn't tangible so those of us who are “logical thinkers” often miss out on it.

It takes faith to believe in Jesus Christ and to establish an intimate relationship with Him through prayer but because we can't see Him we reject Him.

Yet for those that merely believe, we have the privilege of coming clean to Him just the way we are, full of dirt and filth but still deserving of His matchless love.

Then gradually transform into what He desires of us; as we share an intimate relationship with Him through prayer over time.

Truth is, while it may be difficult to have an intimate relationship with men, God is constantly calling on us to tap in.

Once we find love in God, it becomes easier to find love in men.

Master Apprentice.

www.x.com/truekingmaker