Desperation: The Awkward Smell Of Neediness

Introduction:

Welcome my friend,

It's another weekend to hangout here with you.

Indeed, when a person continues to do something in a particular time and in the same way, consistently over time, it becomes a responsibility.

After all, it's now something that's expected of them.

This is how I feel about you now.

So that even if I can't see you, I know that you're here, sharing in these words as you always have.

Truly, it's an honour that's humbling, but also inspiring, giving me the strength to show up regardless; even on days when doing so isn't the easiest thing to do.

This is my own responsibility and I take it as seriously as I do you.

Cheers to a happy weekend my friend!

How have you been?

Discussion:

In the context of our conversation today, we're going to be making a distinction between being desperate and acting it.

Here, to be desperate is to be in a situation where we're in dire need of help because of life's circumstances, some of which may include failing health, crumbling finances, natural disasters or other overwhelming events beyond our control.

These are pressing needs.

In these cases, we're in fact encouraged to speak up and seek all the help and support we can get, rather than allow our silence become our bane.

Likewise, if we're in a position to help others, we should please do so without hurting their dignity.

When we extend empathy to others, we show that we have the deep understanding that this could easily have been us in their place.

Such is life.

On the other hand though, acting desperate is a completely different matter.

Here, we push too hard for what we want, treating our desires as if they’re matters of life and death - even when they’re not.

In other words, it's creating a desperate atmosphere around situations that should otherwise be ordinary or manageable.

Unfortunately, this kind of desperation comes with an awkward scent, and others can smell it.

When they do, it often sets the tone for an unhealthy relationship dynamic.

This is why this discussion is important - to explore what could be done differently.

■ When Desperation Sets In

When we say that desperation has an awkward scent, it's because it's easy to notice it in an individual just as we would easily sense a foul smell on them.

When we’re desperate, we emit a visible neediness, making us easy targets for those looking to take advantage.

Neediness is the awful scent of desperation.

It reveals itself in our words, actions, inactions, and in the things we’re willing to tolerate, just for the sake of wanting someone or something.

Ironically, this very neediness often repels what we desire and attracts manipulators instead, those who can tell we’re vulnerable and ripe for exploitation.

■ How Desperation Impacts Us 

One of the surest ways to devalue ourselves is to desperately throw our worth into spaces where it’s not wanted.

Whether in relationships or professional settings, the outcome is always the same.

When we try too hard, we diminish the value we bring, causing others to take us for granted.

After all, if we’re always available and overly eager, what incentive is there to value us?

Once we lose our value, we lose our negotiation power too since we can't possibly expect more from people who feel we deserve the bare minimum.

Likewise, desperation makes us susceptible to manipulation and deceit because it opposes rational thinking, blinding our eyes from red flags.

Once it clouds our judgment in this manner we stop seeing things clearly since our perception has been distorted.

This is how we become prey.

■ The Root Of Desperation 

Desperation is often rooted in fear, especially the fear of rejection.

When we tie our self-worth to the approval or acceptance of others, we begin to act in ways that are designed to impress them.

This isn’t how it should be.

It’s true that rejection or ridicule, especially from family or peers at an early age, can leave deep scars of unworthiness and loneliness.

This may cause us to desperately seek love.

However, love isn’t something we can get by forcing ourselves on others.

Our backstory or struggles won’t move someone who doesn’t genuinely want to be there.

If all we attract is pity, that’s a form of love far less than what we deserve.

Another root of desperation is the fear that we have no other options, that the thing we’re chasing is our only chance.

This is rarely true.

When we fixate on one door, it’s hard to see the others, but the moment we accept that a door has closed, we begin to notice new ones.

As we work on ourselves and build our value, we attract better and more abundant options.

■ How To Handle Desperation 

Someone's rejection doesn't mean we're not good enough, it may simply mean we're not what they want at that moment, and that's okay.

From my experience in sales, I’ve learned that no offer is ever good enough for a market it doesn't serve.

That doesn’t make the offer bad; it just means it’s being presented to the wrong audience.

Once that's corrected, the magic begins.

In the same way, we may not need drastic changes ourselves, we might just be trying to fit into spaces that aren’t aligned with our personality.

That’s where we can start; by finding the right spaces.

When we begin connecting with those who match our energy, desperation fades.

We no longer feel the need to force interactions, they happen naturally.

Most importantly, just because someone desires to be with us doesn’t mean we’re obligated to feel the same way.

When we carry the arrogant assumption that others must reciprocate our “special love,” we miss the point; they have the right to their own desires.

Summary:

As believers, God offers us the opportunity to receive everything we need when we seek Him first and build an intimate relationship with Him.

When we do this, we experience a joy and peace that truly satisfies, removing the need to strive or chase after things desperately.

All we have to do is accept Him.

In doing so, we renew our essence, drawing life and abundance into our corner of the world and making it vibrant.

Master Apprentice.

www.x.com/truekingmaker