Dealing With Frustration

Introduction: 

Welcome, my friend.

Happy New Month to you.

It’s true that when people want to downplay the importance of a new year or a new month, they often say it’s just another day, no different from any other.

Yet, these moments also serve as valuable opportunities for us to pause and assess ourselves.

To measure our growth and progress over that period, and reflect on how well or poorly we’ve used our time.

More importantly, they trigger a mental reset, reminding us that we have a fresh opportunity to start again with positivity and optimism, while consciously letting go of any negativity or mental baggage we’ve been carrying.

The truth is, when our mind feels lighter, life itself feels easier.

Which is why we should always embrace the idea of beginning anew with a clean slate.

It’s not delusion, it’s harnessing the power of positive imagination and manifestation.

Discussion:

According to its definition by Oxford Languages, frustration is a feeling of being annoyed or upset as a result of being unable to change or achieve something.

In other words, we can say that it's a feeling that's triggered when things don't go our way.

The thing is, as humans, we derive satisfaction from seeing life unfold according to our plans, experiencing that relationship between effort and reward, as our vision or set goals turn into reality.

This is what makes us happy.

However, when things don't quite turn out as expected, we have this tendency to lash out, expressing our dissatisfaction in ways that can sometimes have more damaging effects.

This is what our conversation today is about, as we look to explore another way to handle our frustrations better than we currently do.

■ Understanding The Basis Of Our Frustration

The extent of our frustration is usually directly proportional to our expectations and the effort we invested in trying to achieve our desired goal.

So that when things go wrong, it becomes particularly difficult for us to accept our losses, process them, and move on.

At other times, we feel frustrated because we had built our entire plans around a specific result, leaving us with little time or flexibility to adjust to the disappointment.

Then there are those other times when our frustration stems from the fear we didn’t give our best, as we wonder whether doing so might have been enough to influence the outcome differently.

Truth is, regardless of our reason(s), the reality remains the same: it’s now too late, and no amount of frustration can alter what has already happened.

Which is why the healthiest response is to identify the root cause, learn from the experience, and make the necessary adjustments for the future.

However, most of us react negatively instead, which only robs us of what should have been an opportunity for growth, and honestly, that's ultimately cheating ourselves.

■ Negative Ways We React To Frustration 

When we talk about negative reactions to frustration, what we’re really referring to are those responses that impede us, interfering with our desire and capacity to bounce back from the setback right away and get back on track.

Truth is, when we're frustrated, it makes us vulnerable to certain behaviors that are not good for us.

So unless we make a conscious choice to respond differently, frustration will naturally steer us into one or more of the following reactions:

▪︎ Deflection 

When frustration pushes us to lash out at others and blame everyone and everything else around us for our situation, without stopping to look at our own role in it, we’re simply shifting responsibility.

This becomes a serious barrier to success because, without making the needed corrections, we’ll keep repeating the exact same mistakes that led to the setback, no matter how many times we go through the cycle.

▪︎ Dejection 

When we feel we’ve wasted our time and effort with nothing to show for it, our energy drains away.

This is what dejection feels like.

Here, the result is that we lose the drive and optimism we need to keep going, causing us to quit at the very moment we should have been moving forward with the valuable insight our experience now provides.

This is self sabotage.

Indeed, becoming dejected because we're frustrated, persuades us to settle for less, walking away from the very place where renewed effort could have delivered the breakthrough we seek.

▪︎ Overreaction 

When we tear down the solid foundation we've already built because we're frustrated that results are taking longer than we expected, we end up starting over and wasting the time we could have used to build on what’s already there.

When we let our frustrations get the better of us in such a way that we walk away from something that we're building or have built, we miss out on the benefits that come from remaining there, and giving it our best until it pays off.

▪︎ Desperation 

When frustration strikes because we’re falling behind a deadline we set for ourselves, we can slip into desperation.

Sadly, this only opens the door to poor decisions.

Here, in our rush for quick results, we reach for alternative measures that promise a faster path.

Yet, as we’ve seen time and again, anything truly worthwhile takes time, and most shortcuts carry damaging consequences further down the road.

▪︎ Miscalculation (Poor judgement)

Miscalculation or poor judgment is the resultant effect of desperation, as we blindly ignore long term consequences while remaining fixated on short term rewards.

This is myopic.

Why rush towards something we can eventually have by simply giving it the time it needs, as it unfolds in its natural course?

Here, it's important that we trust the timing of our lives, because that mindset alone can make all the difference.

■ Handling Frustration 

The first step to handling frustration is to recognize that a setback is not the end of a dream.

The truth is, when one door closes, another usually opens, especially if we still want that success badly enough to go looking for it.

So even when we face career-ending health issues that destroy the dreams we once held for a particular path, it’s not reason enough to waste the rest of our lives in self-pity.

We can still choose to make a difference by simply taking an alternative route, rising from the ashes and going on to succeed at something else.

This alone makes our story enough inspiration for someone else to draw strength from, and when others can learn from our experiences, it gives meaning to everything we’ve had to endure.

■ The Right Reaction To Frustration 

When we develop the awareness to swap deflection for accountability, we handle our frustrations far more effectively.

Here, instead of pointing fingers at others, we own our choices in deciding to work with them, having favored sentiment over competence.

Truth is, businesses, jobs or important positions must always be awarded on merit rather than personal ties; otherwise the entire course ends up suffering.

Similarly, we must overcome our dejection with self-motivation, reminding ourselves that simply taking the first step is already progress and we can keep building on every bit of ground we’ve covered, until we eventually reach our destination.

Most importantly, we should always try to stay patient, enjoying the deep strength that comes from self-control.

Which means that we refuse to overreact impulsively, because we understand that doing so makes us risk destroying something that took us years to build.

■ Spiritual Separation - When We're Frustrated With God.

As believers, when our very best efforts go unrewarded, it’s easy to become deeply frustrated with God.

After all, why wouldn’t He simply give us what we want and bless the work of our hands the way He has promised?

Truth is, God is always ready and able to bless us when we're in His will, which means that here accountability is simply a matter of introspection, honestly asking ourselves if we truly are.

God isn’t primarily interested in making us happy; He’s far more concerned with seeing us fulfill our purpose.

Which is why He’s willing to frustrate every effort we make outside His plans if that’s what it'll take to bring us back onto the right path.

This means that instead of pulling away in frustration, we can choose to draw even closer to Him and ask for clear direction.

The sooner we do this, the better it is for us, so that we can stop paying the painful price of our own stubbornness.

Summary:

Having stepped into a new month, it’s easy to feel frustrated if we sense we’re already falling behind on our goals for the year.

Yet this isn't the end of our story.

There's still plenty of time to rewrite everything, as we experience a powerful turnaround, simply because we refuse to let our frustrations get the better of us.

Truly, this conversation ended up going on for longer than we might have initially envisaged, but I’m glad we could all walk away with at least one meaningful lesson.

Kindly let me know what that is for you, either in the comments or by replying to this email.

See you next week.

Master Apprentice.

www.x.com/truekingmaker