Compatibility

Introduction:

Welcome my friend,

Earlier in the week, the year's rewind showed that we've shared over sixty three thousand words here together since the start of this year.

Which makes me really proud of you for the consistency you've shown by being a part of it.

Indeed, through the year, you've been here each Friday, until now, with just two more left.

Which is quite remarkable.

I also appreciate your time, because it takes commitment to be available.

So thanks for being a good friend, your presence has pushed me to be better, learning something new myself, from each of our conversations.

I'm here because you are, dear friend, without whom it wouldn't make much sense being here alone or speaking to myself.

Discussion:

Compatibility in a relationship refers to how well people fit each other with respect to aligned qualities and similar behaviors.

It's a measure of how our traits compliment those of the other person in such a way that there's agreement and understanding in the relationship.

Where people aren't compatible they struggle to move forward together since they're hardly on the same page.

This therefore, makes compatibility essential to building sustained meaningful relationships.

■ How Compatibility Shows Up

The fact that people aren't compatible together doesn't necessarily make one party good or bad, it just means that they're not particularly good for each other.

Which also means they can each be good individually for some other folks with similar qualities as their respective ones.

Where there's compatibility, we're aligned in our:

▪︎ Core Values 

Our values refer to our principles and beliefs, the things we consider to be right or wrong.

Where this is mismatched, it becomes challenging to have similar perspectives; and this can lead to too many misunderstandings.

Our values form the basis for our decision making and judgment meaning that incompatibility here makes it impossible for us to take any action that'll satisfy both parties.

For instance, where we have different beliefs around financial literacy and money in general, what one person considers a reasonable buy can be lavish to the other.

Over time, things like this can cause tension in the relationship, straining the bond.

▪︎ Character 

We all have different personality traits and while we all can coexist peacefully, we're not well suited to have intimate relationships with everyone.

This is nothing personal.

We don't have to desire someone only to try to change them, when the whole time there's someone else that doesn't require changing to be all that for us.

Character compatibility allows us to speak in the same love language, giving the other person love the way they know how to receive it.

▪︎ Sense Of Humour

As trivial as this may seem, having the same sense of humour strengthens our bond as we laugh over jokes that are sometimes unique to us.

Many times the uptight person is just sensitive to certain jokes that some other person would gladly indulge.

This doesn't mean they're insecure, and compatibility here allows us to identify and respect their boundaries.

▪︎ Differences 

For compatible people even differences are well aligned in a healthy balance.

Here, we compliment our distinguishing traits in a way that we're better off together as a team confronting our common challenges from more than one perspective.

Not all differences separate us, some allow us to come together making up for each person's weaknesses with our strengths.

For instance, where one person is good with the hands, the other may be better with the head.

■ Effects Of Incompatibility 

Sometimes in romantic relationships people ignore the red flags, and get together even having children.

This can be consequential.

According to Sherry Ning (@ScrodingrsBrat) aside from the obvious repercussions like having conflicting views on parenting styles to adapt or values to instill in their children, there's also the chance of having a child pick up genes that aren't compatible to one parent from the other one.

This can easily set the tone for dysfunctional family dynamics.

In her exact words, “Compatibility is very important even to the next generation because if a child picks up genes from one parent, the other isn't aligned with there's already a brewing dysfunctional family dynamics”

Here, this parent continues to antagonize the child, punishing them for a character that has come to them naturally, as if to continue their fight with their partner.

This is unfair to the child.

■ Compatibility And Compromise 

It's not every time that we're going to be a perfect fit, but love makes us compromise.

Love covers up our shortcomings so that we're willing to remain with a person as they continue to work on those unpleasant parts of them.

However, we shouldn't be manipulated or cajoled into this.

Compromise like sacrifice should be done willingly, else there's unhappiness.

This isn't worth it, as no relationship should exist at the cost of our peace of mind.

■ The Standard For Compromise 

As believers, there's a limit to our compromise.

God's words are consistent and clear and we can't toss them aside to make others comfortable or earn their acceptance.

No good relationship stands in the way of our relationship with God, which is the most important relationship we have.

■ A Compatible Friend 

God extends His hand of friendship to us offering us an intimate relationship with Him just the way we are.

No judgments, no shaming, just straight up acceptance; he finds us compatible like that.

All we have to do is believe in Him and let Him into our lives.

Once we do this, we give Him the permission to transform us beautifully, making us useful vessels for His purpose.

This is how we move from the life we have to the redeemed one He's freely given us.

Summary:

The reason a good person may be bad for us is because we lack the understanding to fit well as a unit.

We're all unique in our own way and until we find that person that matches us, it's fine to be by ourselves.

All healthy relationships make us better, because love inspires us to become better individuals in order to love the other person better and rightly.

Master Apprentice.

www.x.com/truekingmaker