Broken: Shaped By Circumstance

Introduction:

Welcome my friend,

Have you ever found yourself dodging certain paths to your destination just to steer clear of someone you’d rather not encounter?

For various reasons, we sometimes go out of our way to avoid particular interactions, willingly taking a longer route to reach the location.

To us, the discomfort of that extra effort to sidestep the person, feels like a fair trade.

Perhaps it is, perhaps it's not.

However, what we’re concerned with, is the twist that comes when, after all that effort, we end up face to face with the person at our destination.

Now we’re left wondering, was it worth it?

Maybe we could’ve just walked past them, anyway.

Maybe we could’ve confronted head on, whatever it is we have together with them, that we’re running from.

This is the story of Jemeker Thompson, and line by line, we’ll unravel a few lessons to take away for ourselves.

Discussion:

In her Netflix documentary series, convicted drug lord Jemeker Thompson recounts her journey from a young girl in the hood to one of the most formidable drug traffickers in the United States.

At just eight years old, Jemeker and her mother faced eviction from their South Central Los Angeles home.

She recalls, “Coming home to find my toys and all our belongings thrown out because we couldn’t pay rent, I felt embarrassed.”

That moment, as a child, she vowed to amass wealth and become a powerful woman.

Never again would she endure such shame.

A new Jemeker was born, determined to stay ahead at all costs.

So she navigated life with ambition, building a successful legitimate lifestyle as a front for the secret one where she peddled drugs and climbed the ranks to become one of the wealthiest and most influential drug dealers in 1980s America.

She had achieved the opulent life she envisioned, complete with mansions, luxury cars, and every extravagance money could provide.

She extends the same to her only child, her son.

Mission accomplished!

Now this is where it gets interesting.

In an ironic twist of fate, while Jemeker was at the peak of her empire, her operations caught the attention of federal authorities, who began closing in.

So on the day of her son’s graduation, as she sat there a proud mother, law enforcement officers approached her, placed her under arrest, and handcuffed her.

Humiliated, ashamed, she raises her head to look at her son, bewildered and weeping, embarrassed by his mother.

It was a full circle moment, the embarrassment she did everything to avoid in her path had shown up in her destination.

■ Broken - Shaped By Circumstance 

Jemeker's story is a compelling one with lots of lessons for us, when we reflect on it deeply.

Most likely, with every extra dollar earned, she felt a surge of satisfaction, especially for the simple reason of being further away from embarrassment, or so she thought.

The reality is, we may begin life whole, like Jemeker, until an event happens that reshapes us, leaving us broken, no longer the person we once were.

This new identity then becomes the driving force of our lives, shaping the core of most of our decisions.

As a result, our actions are often guided by one or more of the following:

▪︎ Pain 

For Jemeker, eviction brought a deep humiliation that shattered her self esteem, leading her to build her identity around riches.

“Money equals power” without it, you’re left on the street, and that drove her to do whatever it took to secure it.

How many of us share this mindset?

The sting of inadequacy is one of the most crippling emotions, wounding our pride, the part of us that craves to feel sufficient, worthy.

This is the same reason some build their identity around their appearance, especially if they were ridiculed for how they looked growing up.

So that it sparked an unhealthy fixation on improving and preserving their look.

However, in doing so, they've also reduced their true essence to mere appearance and shallowness, believing that as long as they look good, it compensates for deficiencies in other virtues.

This is what pain does.

Pain drives us to live as if life is a quest for redemption, striving to overcome whatever once crushed our confidence.

This mindset leads us to embrace any means necessary to escape that sense of vulnerability, regardless of the cost.

Which is the danger of desperation because ambition without ethics can lead to one's own downfall.

▪︎ Fear 

Growing up under a parent whose struggles we didn’t admire, while observing their hardships up close, can instill in us a deep fear of mirroring their fate.

This fear becomes the driving force behind our choices in life.

As a result, our identity is unconsciously shaped by an intense desire to avoid the pain and challenges we saw them endure.

This explains why someone who witnessed one parent emotionally or physically abusing the other might become the aggressor in their own relationships.

It also sheds light on why parents who faced deprivation in their childhood often overcompensate by giving their children everything, exposing them to comforts they’re not ready to handle.

Here, in our attempt to protect them from the hardships that scarred us, we inadvertently open the door to other different vices that can harm them just as deeply.

▪︎ Guilt 

Sometimes, the weight of regret over choices we wish we’d made differently drives us to overcompensate throughout our lives.

At times, the sudden loss of loved ones leaves us haunted by the feeling that we didn’t do enough for them while they were with us.

This is a heavy burden to carry.

Even heavier are the moments where we feel we played a part in their loss, such as in an accident.

Yet, in both cases, we must forgive ourselves, simply because our intentions were not insincere.

That is enough.

Many things in life happen outside of our control as part of a big picture that we have no hand in, we just happen to live through it.

So, we must let go as a way of setting ourselves free.

Otherwise, this guilt can make us overprotective of the ones we love in a way that stifles them, and holds them back, hindering their growth.

Here, we may have caused them to doubt the said love, all because we didn’t know when to stop.

■ An Unpleasant Shape 

Unhealed trauma reshapes us, turning us into someone different from who we could have been.

Often, in our struggle to survive, we morph into the very thing that shattered us, or a version of it, sculpted by those tough experiences.

Many of us bury ourselves in work, striving to provide for our loved ones, only to deprive them of the unique sense of love and value that only our presence can offer.

The reality is, trauma blinds us, leading us to prioritize things we believe will mask the fractures we feel within.

Yet, wounded people, despite their best intentions, often end up causing pain to others, because we cannot give what we ourselves lack.

■ Returning To Design 

As Jemeker discovered through her arrest, unhealed trauma doesn’t vanish, it merely transforms, reappearing in new forms.

This underscores the critical need for healing.

Healing demands acceptance, accountability, and self awareness, as we must first recognize that something within us is amiss.

It's this mindset that makes us more willingly and receptive to solutions.

The chief of such solutions being the role of the divine in our transformation.

All issues of self esteem stem from feeling unworthy or inadequate.

So, we earnestly strive to fix this our own way.

Yet, who declares us unworthy?

God created each of us with a purpose, deeming us valuable.

He loves us wholesomely, seeing beyond our present struggles, knowing that everything we face is temporary, preparing us for greater things if we respond rightly.

It's true that society often causes us to doubt our worth as we struggle to meet its materialistic or superficial standards.

Yet, Jemeker’s story teaches us that achievement alone is hollow if the path to it is flawed, and that true fulfillment lies in embracing our purpose.

This is the essence of our discussion today.

■ Summary:

The challenging circumstances that molded us may not have been our doing, but staying defined by them is a choice.

Eventually, we must stop pointing fingers at our parents, our surroundings, or the factors that brought us to a place we no longer wish to be, and instead take ownership, seeking solutions.

We have a responsibility to transform our lives for the better, and the best part of it is that we are well equipped to do so.

All it takes is time.

Most importantly, there are no shortcuts to this inner work, else those cracks will resurface later.

Master Apprentice.

www.x.com/truekingmaker